Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
where does the pee come out of this thing
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize
