Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
