The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
