i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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