Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
