Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
