he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
