Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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