Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
