Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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