I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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