why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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