We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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