the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
