Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
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