My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
The ass gains better be worth it
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