"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize