I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
