Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Randomize
