They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Randomize
