I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
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