You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
