My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
