If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
