she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Randomize
