I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
