I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
i love accidental penises.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
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