At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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