How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Randomize
