just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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