Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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