I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
honey bunches of taint.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
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