I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
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Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
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Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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