my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
