I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
