you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
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