I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Randomize