Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Randomize
