grandma shit on top of the toilet
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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