we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Farmville is her only friend.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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