this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
We had sex on a dog bed..
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
