he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
