I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
