Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
