He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
