If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
