I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Randomize
