I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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