he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
