And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
