Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize