do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
