Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
