Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
