drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize