You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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