just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
did i walk over a car last night?
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
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