the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize