when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Randomize