worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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